b.i.t.t.e.r.s.w.e.e.t

I have spent the last 10 weeks in an intensive Yoga Teacher Training program.

When I made the decision to leave my career behind 4 months ago, I knew something wasn't right. My gut was constantly throbbing. I began to doubt myself. My purpose. My life. I knew it was time to leave what I was doing behind. I didn't know why I was feeling this way - but my heart told me to let go. Let go of the title. The money. The accomplishment.

So I did. 

Yoga has always brought me back to my genuine self. Especially over the last year when the struggle started to feel so real. When I felt lost in the shuffle, yoga honed me in. When I felt purposeless, it gave me purpose. When I felt weak, it made me strong. When I felt empty, it inspired me to look deeper. It was like a superpower that I could always tap into. Who wouldn't want to share this with the world? The unraveling, gratification, and love of self that always unfolded during my practice was priceless. I knew I wanted to share this.

So I decided to sign up for Yoga Teacher Training. 

Ever since, the shift has been so real. So inspiring. So meaningful. For me, it has been so much more than learning to teach yoga. I dove deep into a pool of self-discovery.

Don't get me wrong, there has been plenty of struggles and moments of discomfort. Feelings of being lost or confused - just as we experience in life. But for once, I began to feel empowered. I was able to handle these difficult feelings with bliss. I learned to accept. To let go. To let things be. To be content. I noticed the feelings of joy and contentment began to flood me. The shift was real.

Today, my heart is so full. I am sad to end this chapter. I'm sure the other 21 beautiful souls who were by my side are having similar feelings. But, this is really just the beginning. The beginning of an opportunity to take what I have learned and truly shine. Share it with the world. Make a difference.

When your heart talks - listen. Stay true to yourself. And always, Be Bold - Be Brilliant - Be Beautiful. 

XO J

A reflection on 2014

A reflection on 2014. 

As 2014 comes to a close, there is no better time to reflect on the past year - the memories - the lessons - the tears - the joy - the sadness - the happiness. 2014 was one hell of a year for me. Here's a few highlights:

• Another year for immense career growth at CI - only to leave it all behind as a memory. Best decision I have made in a long time. 
• Learned what a great ski/ride season really looks like - and made a ton of wonderful friends in the process. Shout out to my BMW's. Badass. Mountain. Women. - Credits to Trishy on the acronym. Gol babe, I couldn't summarize my year with you if I had a 500-page novel to do so. Love you. 
• Traveled with Hannah to NYC to visit the lovely Kayla. Always so many memories with these two. Took a separate solo trip to NYC to surprise Kayla - I will never forget the look on her face! true friendship isn't about being inseparable, it's about being separate and nothing changes. Love you sis. 
• Met a few special guys that helped me gain a little hope for a future relationship. Although I have no idea what I want out of a relationship - I'm starting to learn what I don't want. Gotta start somewhere!
• Bonded with a few special babes in Denver. If I have learned anything about friendship, it is not about having tons of friends, but rather having real friends who add meaning and value to your life. Don't know where I would be without my babes!
• Went to Beaver Creek for the first time - epic epic day!

• Watched a few college friends unite with their significant others - so blessed to have the opportunity to share these amazing moments with others. 
• Moved to Washington Park from the DTC - long overdue!
• Took a work trip to Austin, TX with all of my favorite co-workers. We definitely kept it weird!
• Hiked to Conundrum Falls in Aspen - highest hot springs in the U.S. Hiked to the springs to watch the sunrise - breathtaking. 
• Went white water rafting and mountain biking for the first time. I think I am finally developing a love for summer activities in Colorado
• Cliff jumping at Green Mountain Reservoir with my dub ("W") boys. Wade and Wally. These two. I so appreciate all you two do for me - I can always count on you, especially when I need to be put in my place. Much LOVE!
• Started weight training with mr. Wadey. This has helped me recover from my on-going running injury. I have gained so much strength - both mentally and physically. What I thought was going to be an short-term injury recovery has turned into a new passion.
• As noted above, but probably one of the most important things from the year: left my career behind to explore the bigger things in life. One of the scariest decisions I have made - but I have learned so much about myself through the process and I could not be more content. 
• Took a 10-week intensive Yoga Teacher Training program. Changed my life when I needed it most. The world has an interesting way of making sure you are right where you need to be - even if in the moment it does not feel that way. 
• Lost my childhood home in Kansas City to arson. Everything happens for a reason - you have to identify the positive and run with it. I now have a raw understanding of "everything can be gone in the blink of an eye." Cherish every moment - everything - and everyone. Dad is now with us in Colorado and our bond is stronger than ever. That man is my hero - my best friend - my biggest fan - my role model - my rock. I love you Dad. 
• My brother moved to Denver! So nice having family close by.

Let's get raw. This year has been one of many ups and downs for me. I have finally developed an understanding and appreciation for the fluctuations. I have learned to remain content in the roughest of storms and how to find beauty when it seems there is nothing left. Everything is possible. Everything happens for a reason - don't force anything - follow your heart - and never give up. You are right where you are supposed to be. Learn to cherish the hardships and pain - they help you grow and blossom into your most beautiful self. For me, 2014 was a year for self-realization and self-acceptance. Being true to yourself is your biggest asset - it will never lead you astray. When you don't force things - you leave space for what really matters - the things that light you up. The things that make you happy and let you shine. So grateful for what 2014 brought to me. 

2015 - I have a good feeling about you!

Yours Truly,
Be Bold - Be Brilliant - Be Beautiful
XO.J

Humility.Compassion - They will never lead you astray.

Humility : a modest or low view of one's own importance. 

Compassion : the emotion that one feels in response to the suffering of others that motivates a desire to help.

When is the last time your humility was put to test? More likely than not, you found yourself in a situation that forced you to check your humility gauge! Humility is what helps us understand there is something greater than self. That's right - YOU are not the end-all-be-all. I like to think of humility in terms of ego. Yoga has taught me SO much about the ego. Where it holds a space in my life, and where it needs to get lost. Today was a beautiful demonstration of letting go of ego. Finding humility and compassion when the world needs it most. So I'm sure you are wondering what happened that inspired me to write about this. 

This lovely Thursday morning came with yet another cold Denver frost. I took my routine stroll to the local coffee shop where I spend most of my mornings - checking e-mails, looking at the markets, preparing yoga sequences, reading the news updates, etc. There I sat at the community table, same spot as always. I guess you could say I am a creature of habit :) 

As I sipped my steamed Mate-Chai Latte, I could taste feelings of gratitude and appreciation. There is such a beautiful world out there, and I'm honored to be a part of it. Although only one small soul in this universe, everyONE has something to contribute. What wonderful thoughts to start the day. 

As expected, in walks the group of older gentlemen that often meets in the mornings. There's probably 8 of them or so. Older fellas. I see them often - they always gather at the community table. In the past, I have offered to move so the community table comfortably accommodates their entire group, but they have always welcomed me with kindness. Today was not the same. 

As the fellas began to settle into their space - waiting for a few stragglers to order their coffee - one of the gentlemen picked up the sign on the community table to ensure I was aware of the "table policy." It's a community table - I get it. If I am taking up valuable group space, the polite thing to do is move. Just as I have offered to do in the past, with no objections from the group to stay put. Apparently someone had not spoke up before today, but today was the day he chose to do so! 

This man asked me to leave the table, insisting he should be able to have a private conversation at the community table with his friends. Just as they often do. Taken back, I look at the man and say "I'm not sure if I should take this literally or if you are joking." You see, I have started building a relationship with many of these fellas over the last few weeks when I have seen them there. I look around the table to try and pick up clues from his friends. I was having a difficult time reading the group. The other fellas inform me their friend is being serious but I am welcome to stay at the table. 

At this point, you couldn't pay me to continue sitting next to this man who has disrespected me and treated me wrongfully with no intent or kindness. So I get up and move. Meanwhile, several other individuals enjoying their morning cuppa joe overheard the conversation and are gawking with confusion. A few of these strangers even took action and approached me after I moved to reassure me I handled the situation well. 

Talk about a test of humility. 6 months ago - I would have probably lit this old fella up. I would have struck with defensiveness, ego, and would have undoubtedly denied his request to move. Instead, my emotions swayed the other way. I felt a deep sense of compassion. I even became sad. Sad for this old fella because I know he must be going through something heart-breaking to be okay with treating a stranger with such a lack of kindness. I don't know his story - but I know it's not as beautiful as mine. 

It was in this moment I realized just how beautiful my story was. This experience that first felt awkward and unwelcoming, turned into the most humbling experience I have had in quite a while. Just another reason to be grateful. There is nothing more fulfilling than realizing personal growth. In this case, humility and compassion led me to a highly desired place. 

And so as I strolled home, I thought to myself:

You are god damn AMAZING. Never forget it. 

I'm sure I will see this man again. He is far too old to not have beauty in his life. I can only hope he finds it someday soon..

Yours Truly,
Be Bold - Be Brilliant - Be Beautiful
XO.J

Honor Your Progress.

PROGRESS. 

What are you working towards in your life? a promotion at work? a personal goal? a shift in perspective? discovering "who you are"?

When is the last time you took a moment to acknowledge your progress? The practice of setting goals and working towards them is a necessity for building confidence and courage. Your goals don't have to be written on paper, or shared with a loved one to be valid. Goals, whether small or large, provide meaning and direction in your life. Life provides so many opportunities to strive and accomplish. One of the most important parts of goal setting is tracking your progress. So often we forget to take a moment to appreciate where we are and how we ended up here. It is so natural to keep focus on the end goal that we lose sight of the journey it takes to reach the goal. Show yourself a little love. Write down all the progress you have made towards goals in the last year. ONLY FOCUS ON PROGRESS! This will help you get in the routine of recognizing your accomplishments and striving forward.

I spent the last 10 weeks in an intensive Yoga Teacher Training. My heart was set on this training when I signed up, and although I did not know what I was working towards or what exactly I was hoping to gain or accomplish from this training - I knew it was the right direction for me. Watching my progress through the course has been such a rewarding experience. I have accessed a place in myself - my true soul - that I would have never imagined. It has welcomed numerous feelings of insecurity, vulnerability, fear, all along side the beauty of happiness, joy, contentment, and passion. I'm now on the other side - heart and eyes wide open.

Do yourself a favor - strive for progress. Find beauty in the journey. And never give up on your dreams.

Yours Truly,
Be Bold - Be Brilliant - Be Beautiful
XO.J